That’s right, it’s the HELLRIDE, we don’t care if you are offended and if we called it the Boutique Ride some of you losers still wouldn’t show up cuz you are afraid to challenge yourselves.
Twelve riders showed last night for some fast and furious, hellacious fun. Notable no-show was Keith who must had a performance anxiety induced emotional breakdown realizing he could not fulfill his trash-talking expectations. Has anyone checked on him lately? I’m almost concerned about him.
After Robert gave the ride explanation and just before rolling out he made a statement “I’ll be riding in the back today.” Which we all knew was a load of crap as he immediately attacked after the second set of railroad tracks, Shane responded and the rest of us held back knowing it’s still a bit early for these antics. As the chase pack caught Shane and Robert, we all did some jockeying and I figured the pace was a bit lull so I attacked to create some excitement. The chase pack caught me as we started the climbing at Austin Road were I attacked again, ha suckers, you didn’t expect that did you? This time only Eric was able to respond and we took turns pulling to keep the group behind us. As we neared the finish line, Eric was drafting behind me as I was waiting for his attack. As he pulled up I made a concessionary effort since Angie had e-mailed me earlier and said has been extremely mopey and distraught over my harsh words, apparently he spent most of the weekend watching videos of George Foreman and Dara Torres on how other advanced aged athletes were able to recapture their youthful prime. So being a nice, compassionate teammate I let Eric take the sprint to lift his spirits.
After a brief re-group at the fire station it was off to the rollers, I got caught in the rear and had to make a serious effort to catch up. As riders dropped from the lead pack, I’d pull up and tell them to catch my wheel in an attempt to find that, oh so nice draft. First Sarah, then Dave, John and Eric Landl until we were able to successfully re-connect with the lead pack. As we surged up the final climb, the Erics and Chad pulled away and Landl made a nice move to use Chad as a blocker to attack and Grove had to dig deep to respond and catch him again, but it was too much too soon as Grove was able to out sprint him for the finish.
We rolled out of Silver City and pace was conversational with the slight downhill and tailwind. As Phil was telling me how to attack him on the downhill since this is his weakness, (Really Phil, why would you do this?) I heard a clunk behind us.Chad was just as shocked as myself that he revealed this and he dropped his water bottle. Phil and I stayed back for Chad to retrieve his bottle and we now got down to business in an attempt to catch the lead group, which from behind looked awesome, a group of nine riders looking like one as they snaked around the undulating road. Our furious attempt only amounted to us being pack fodder as by the time we caught up the attack on the final climb was underway. Dave Hamer had made a break for the top from the lead pack but it again was not enough the hold off the charging Eric Grove for the finish.
We rolled back into town as Eric told us stories about the olden days of yore, how they would race all over hill and dale before finally getting dropped by Joel Gerhart.
Until next week racing fans, will Eric return to defend his wins, will Joel take note and put him in his place, will Keith muster up the courage and show, will other triathletes learn about those things called gears on their bikes? Dang that was fun!
OUCH!…That’ll teach you, mister smack talker!
A few points of clarification to Greg’s report;
Greg – Very nice job on the initial break but…and I hate to say it…the “sprint” was the perverbial “taking candy from a baby (literally!)”. I’m not sure what you were doing the rest of the ride because…well…I wasn’t at the back of the pack (dropped water bottle…you’re kidding me..right?)…
Sarah and Laura – You guys rock! If you can find the draft (it’s tough with those small wheels) these two can put the hammer down for a lead-out or a bridge…
Thanks to everyone for showing up and, in all seriousness, thanks to Greg and Robert for getting people motivated for the HELL RIDE…it was a very fun, team event.