Hell Ride Report 6-23-2009

Out of nowhere, Greg Wirth (worthy Wirth) nominated me to write the Hell Ride Report (what the hell?), so here it is – p.s. I did graduate.

A total of 18 riders showed up last night for the weekly Hell ride. Do you think we may have to change this ride to the Tour De Hell? What a crowd! Even the Great White of Great Divide showed – The Grove, Eric Grove that is, along with many other all-time great riders. I knew this was going to be a full on pedal dance. After Robert Ray, concluded with the rider info trac we began our ride. 

After the first set of rail road tracks, we formed our pace line. It was a large one at that, so we didn’t stay in the pace line very long. After the second set of RR tracks, the smell of competition came over all of us. It was a true swordfight.

Everybody seemed to hold their composure as we crested up the first hill. After, the whistle stop, three blew by to begin a hard effort. (I believe it was Tom, Jason and possibly Robert Ray?) It was too fast and my vision was dramatically impaired by the glare of lite speed and chicken legs. 

I figured I would hang in the back and in the vicinity of Wirth and Grove (as long as I could) to watch the match-up. Before I knew it, they both powered by me with the speed and power generated by their blood doped enhanced legs. The gap between them and I became bigger then I wanted. However, my legs did not so much want what my brain wanted. (Just kidding about the blood doping – just in case there are any drug investigators on this mailing list).

As they ascended the first hill, it was a matchup of power for the finish between Eric, Greg and Jason (the guy with the 1993 steel trek with down tube shifters-“SWEET”), and Boston Tom. In the hindmost and at the top of the hill, I asked who took it. With a non-chalant and humble (John Wayne/Elvis like) response, “I did”, replied the Wirth (Greg Wirth that is). 

Now was the time for the second sprint. We all held a steady pace as we rolled up and down the hills. We were all pretty tight, almost to close for comfort. I held back to enjoy the draft. Everybody seemed to hold off as long as possible. Only the brave dared to spin it up. All of a sudden, in a flash of a second, Mark and Robert Ray zipped down their jerseys to show their chest and manhood and sprinted away. They were off. A couple of minutes later, Eric and Greg whipped out their terminator like crazy legs and bolted off. I ensued with no prevail. Near the end, it was a power sprint. Great White Grove pushed passed my point of pain threshold and won the sprint. 

We all gathered by Silver Star. It was time for the third sprint. It was an unusual headwind from Silver Star to the base of the third hill. The pace remained at about 22-25 mph and everybody kept conservative. I knew in my mind it was just a matter of time before the attack. As we reached the base of the third hill, things got crazy. I had a choice as we crept towards the third hill- Either spin it super fast or try to power it. I chose to spin it. Bad choice, because to the left and to the right of me, was the power. I felt the Hamer come down on me (Dave Hamer that is) and then I knew my strategy failed me. I quickly changed to my big ring but that did not help. As I looked beyond the horizon, It was Tom, Eric, Greg Jason Dave, and the Ramsey Brother (with the Kabush sideburns-didn’t catch his name). Boston Tom took it with Eric closely behind. 

What a great ride, with a great group of people, in a great town. What more could you ask for. Lets do it again and this time lets aim for more riders.

J. Hamilton


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